Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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