she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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