He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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