I love black thongs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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