Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
