ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
