He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
