Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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