like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
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I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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