it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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