uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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