i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
