Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
