I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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