if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize