You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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