People with herpes should wear stickers.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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