mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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