Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
