Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize