Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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