Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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