ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
