Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?

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(541): bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat? http://tfl.nu/t2jr

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(540): View more from Virginia

he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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(540): he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck http://tfl.nu/km3p

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.

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(479): I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting. http://tfl.nu/hwr8

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(315): View more from New York

i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them

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(315): i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them http://tfl.nu/qx93

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

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(731): He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars.... http://tfl.nu/aa23

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(949): View more from California

Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

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(949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking

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(603): i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking http://tfl.nu/kntc

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(704): View more from North Carolina

ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt

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(704): ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt http://tfl.nu/lv1t

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(386): View more from Florida

I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness

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(386): I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness http://tfl.nu/l65r

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(805): View more from California

Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.

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(805): Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother. http://tfl.nu/ewkc

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(952): View more from Minnesota

You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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(952): You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans. http://tfl.nu/wpte

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.

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(+44): First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve. http://tfl.nu/g7kr

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(585): View more from New York

I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one

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(585): I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one http://tfl.nu/3p0c

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(614): View more from Ohio

Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.

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(614): Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/o52k

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy

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(732): Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy http://tfl.nu/ir99

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