I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
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This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.