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bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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