Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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