My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
