So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
