i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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