yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
