He disabled his match.com account in front of me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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