If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
