If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
