I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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