we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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