Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
last night I used snow as a chaser
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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