she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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