try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
