I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Come share oat with me in your robe
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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