I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize