I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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