Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
