I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
