having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
