Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
