My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
worst night to have a conscience
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
