his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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