I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
