I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
