Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
