I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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