So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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