I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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