After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
