at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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