I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
