I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
