I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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