Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you didnt know i had herpes?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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