i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
