Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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