Fuck appropriateness.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
