Your tits are I can't wait for
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
