She is in my trunk
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
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I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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