guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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