and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
