yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
