when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
