just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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