apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?