Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
